Over the years I have had dozens of different neighbours. Living mostly in apartments, you meet all kinds of people. And believe me, I have had some doosies! From people I hardly heard to a couple who held marathon screaming matches that came in rounds.
I would say the biggest thing is being friendly but not nosey and gossipy.
The best neighbours I ever had were a group of Romanian college students here to work in the park for the summer. I was hard to believe that there were three guys living upstairs. I mean, they didn’t even stomp around. The only time I ever hear anything was the two or three times when the Bulgarians came over for a party. And even that wasn’t intolerable.
I had one neighbour who only lived there a few months before he died, but he like sharing his music with the whole neighbourhood; good thing it was classic rock and roll. Every morning he would crank it up! No need for me to worry about turning on my music.
Oh, the upstairs neighbours who had marathon fights….usually at night, they would get into these fights – screaming matches – where the only intelligible word was multiple F-bombs. They would scream for around half an hour, take a break for a bit, and then go at it again. This would go on for two or three hours. And the cops never did a thing about it!
I suppose in families who have children, a good neighbour would include people whose children play with each other and perhaps even parents who will keep an eye on each other’s children from time to time or car pool for school and other activities.
In my current neighbourhood, I know the name of the lady upstairs and we have spoken on a few occasions. I have spoken with her son but still do not know his name; nor do I know the people in the back. I know the name on the mailbox but not who it is.
Likewise, I have spoken with the people next door but do not know their names. As for the house on the other side of the street hedges, I am clueless…and that is the case of the rest of the street. But, it really doesn’t bother me. I keep to myself and mind my own business. My theory is if whatever they are doing does not affect or harm me in any way; I don’t care!
I once told the landlord to find a neighbour who was a musician. They would play a lot of music, and that was fine with me. 🙂
What a lovely inventory of proximity – the Romanian students who lived like ghosts, the classic-rock enthusiast who held your morning alarm hostage, and those F-bomb marathoners who taught you patience by exhaustion. Your “if it doesn’t harm me, I don’t care” principle is deeply sane, a boundary that honours both solitude and civility without demanding intimacy. May your next neighbour be a quiet musician – or at least share good taste.